Physically Distant, but Socially Connected.
I want to talk to you today about the power of connection and why being socially connected is so important during this pandemic. I want to share with you some of my thoughts on how the global pandemic is creating more distance and less connection and why this is damaging to us as a society. The title of this article is called “physically distant, but socially connected”, and the reason why I chose this title is because keeping physical distance is important to prevent the further spread of the virus, but being mentally, physical, and emotionally connected is what will keep us happier, safer, and healthier.
Behavioral Science Leading the Way
In recent months, as a behavioral scientist, I have been at the forefront of the pandemic studying human behavior not only to provide a behavioral perspective to the various phenomena we have witnessed across the world, but also to provide direction on how to deal with the on-going uncertainty that still awaits us. I speak regularly about these developments on global news channels and in the media to provide people with insights and strategies on how to deal effectively with the pandemic and its impact on society and work. I also conduct behavioral research investigating effective Covid19 communication strategies and how people can improve their personal effectiveness, well-being, and productivity when working from home during times of uncertainty. Together with other behavioral scientists across the world, I believe we can provide tremendous value to people during this pandemic, as the coronavirus is not just a physical health concern but also a societal, mental well-being, and economical problem.
Coronavirus — Uncertainty
We are living in challenging and unsettling times. In a matter of 3 months, our lives literally turned upside down. To date, the coronavirus has infected and killed millions of people across the world. The coronavirus has also caused for a lot of uncertainty in this world. Uncertainty in how to deal with the virus, how sick you will become if you get infected, will you still have a job in the coming months, when will a next country-wide lockdown occur, and how soon will an effective vaccine be available for everyone? And during these uncertain times, we also tend to look up to our leaders for guidance and perspective, but we also know that they don’t have all the answers to the questions that currently concern us. This amounting uncertainty affects people in various ways and has been a cause for many interesting behavioral phenomena across the world in recent months.
Social Distancing
You are by now all very aware of the term ‘social distancing’, a term I personally dislike and believe to be a wrong choice of words. We human beings are social by nature and telling us not to socialize goes against our core need to connect. Connecting and interacting with our social ties (e.g. work, friends, family, and yes also our social network contacts) is not only for fun. We derive a lot of meaning, identity, and a sense of security from the social groups we engage with. In other words, there is a psychological need to connect with others to help understand who we are and where we belong. For some, affiliation to the group can be so strong that without it people can feel anxious and disconnected. What’s important to know, is that group values, beliefs and behaviors can affect individual behaviors so strongly that some people go along with what the group wants, even when the individual might (initially) not want to. It’s therefore not surprising that many people don’t adhere to social distancing measures.
Another issue I have with the term social distancing is the fact that most people have associated social distancing with ‘not going to work’ and ‘not going to school’. In our heads, not going to work / school equals ‘play time’. So we go out, have fun, and…. socialize! Surely, play time socializing doesn’t mean social distancing, right? And this is exactly the issue with using the term social distancing, as not everyone can be expected to understand what it really means. Especially in these uncertain times, people seek to be with others to feel safe.
Instead of using the term social distancing to indicate taking distance from each other, I strongly plea we use a more effective term that is easier to understand. I suggest we start using the term ‘physical distancing’ instead. This way people can associate distance with physical proximity, without compromising our fundamental need to connect.
Panic Buying
Besides social distancing, the pandemic has also brought about some other very interesting phenomena. We all remember when shelter-in-place measures were first put into effect, how people ran to the supermarkets to panic buy, believing that both essential and non-essential goods would go out of stock. The notorious toilet paper made global headlines with videos on social media of people fighting to buy the last pieces of toilet paper like their lives depended on it. To go into detail about the reasons why toilet paper is such a hot item during pandemics goes beyond the scope of this article, but the concept of panic buying in general is not so surprising. When we deal with an uncertain or threatening situation, our brains go into survival mode which makes us act more irrational. Though we can argue that buying to have additional reserves (bulk-buying) is rational behavior, repeated instances of panic buying behavior on the other hand (even when we know stocks won’t run out) show signs of emotionally charged behavior. And when we don’t know what to do, we tend to follow other people, especially other people similar like us, so when we see similar others panic, we also start to panic. This is often referred to as the ‘herd effect’. So even our irrationalities have a social component to them.
Working From Home
Working from home has become the new norm for many workers across the world during the pandemic. Some companies like Twitter, Hitachi, and Fujitsu have even made remote work a permanent option for their employees. A great response by corporations to adapt to the times. However, we have to be mindful of the fact that most people actually can’t work from home. Even in developed countries like the US and Japan 65% to 70% of employers can’t facilitate WFH setups due to the nature of the job. Think of businesses like hotels, restaurants, hospitals, construction, and factories. People need to be on the ground. Now, just imagine how few people can work from home in emerging markets like Brazil, India, and Nigeria and the impact the coronavirus is having on their lives. The coronavirus has exuberated existing inequalities even further.
Domestic Violence
At a person level, shelter-in-place measures, fear of infection, job insecurity, and WFH have also had their toll on relationships, marriages, and families. Being locked up for months at home can be extremely challenging and recent reports show that divorce rates and domestic violence are increasing rapidly. Being cooped up at home for long periods of time can challenge even the best of people. Especially, if you live in a small house with multiple individuals. In Hong Kong for example the average living space is about 45 square meters. Conflict is bound to happen when personal space is limited and cognitive strain is induced.
Mental Health
Another unintended consequence of the pandemic is the impact of lockdown measures on mental health and well-being. Cases of anxiety and depression have increased significantly during the pandemic. And recent reports show that mental health issues amongst adults as well as children are currently at a record high. Working or living alone for long periods of time can negatively affect your cognitive performance, your emotional state, and even lower your immune response. Attributes you need to have to fight off a possible Covid19 infection. This just shows how important it is to be socially connected and how powerful togetherness is for our minds and body.
Social Unrest
And finally, probably the most disturbing phenomenon we have seen in recent months has been the rise of polarization and social divide across the globe due to political, racial, or economical tensions. The uncertainty and fear that the coronavirus has sparked in many of us, has also become a feeding ground for latent beliefs about ‘us’ versus ‘them’, creating even more divide in the minds of people who are just looking for direction, security, and a sense of belonging.
So how do we turn things around?
How do we turn things around? How do we become more socially connected when we are told to be physically distant from each other? Well, it requires a change in perspective. Instead of looking beyond, we need to start to look more from within and between to find direction, safety, strength, and belonging.
The Power of the Tribe
This current situation very much reflects our existence in past times, when we lived in tribes and settlements. We naturally relied on the tribe for companionship, food, shelter, and safety. We were bonded through culture, stories, norms, and rituals and were able to sacrifice personal needs for the benefit of the group. Such a mindset is very much needed today, not only to collectively prevent the spread of the virus, but also to ensure we come out of it much stronger.
Staying Connected
First and foremost, staying connected to friends, families, and loved ones even when isolated at home is of utmost importance. We need these social connections to make sense of what’s going on, to feel safe, to maintain emotional stability, and even boost physiological properties to fight off a possible infection. Besides family and close friends, studies show that staying connected with people who are not so close to us is equally important. The pandemic has caused our contact with various categories of ‘friends’ (or our weaker ties) to dissapear completely. Think of the friendly chat you have every morning with the guy making your coffee at your favorite coffeeshop or the conversation with the lady that you always see at the gym when you are working out. If you think carefully about these people, you realize that they make up a considerable part of your social connections (although not considered strong ties). Amanda Mull recently wrote an excellent article on this topic.
So staying connected with loved ones and reaching out to random others help us to feel good and stay healthy. In a Ted Talk 3 years ago, I spoke about the benefits of connecting with various others as a way to increase mental resilience and well-being. So, let’s aim to put more effort in connecting with people we don’t speak to regularly, even if just via WhatsApp or social media. Technology can help us stay connected even when distanced, but we have to remember that technology doesn’t replace connection, rather it facilitates it.
Inclusion
Second, we also need to actively create environments, be it physical or virtual, where different people feel part of a community. Environments which invite diversity and inclusion and help create a common cause and identity for people from all walks of life to connect to. This type of connection allows individual differences to flourish while staying true to common values and goals, regardless of age, race, religion, or orientation. My own organizational behavior studies show that creating a strong sense of belonging in the workplace is key to building engagement and mental resilience during difficult times.
Culture
Third, culture has become paramount in these uncertain times. If everything outside that binds us is changing, then we have to start focusing on what binds us from within. Cultural values are the driving force which connects, drives, and inspires people to a common purpose in a meaningful manner. Culture is also an important factor to build mental resilience and it is the invisible glue that helps us stick together in difficult times. However, culture needs to be conducive to fostering connection. If not, culture (and culture-fit) can have adverse effects to creating a sense of belonging for diverse individuals.
New Habits
And finally, knowing that our environment has changed so abruptly, we have to let go of what we once believed was true. This also means that we need to develop new habits to help us adjust to new realities. Be it working from home, setting up clear boundaries, home schooling, sports, study, or hobbies. Finding what works for you is equally important as it is for building stronger connections. How can you be a strong connector, if you haven’t sharpened your hook.
Reflection on what’s to come
As I come to the end of this reflection on connection, I want to leave you with one final thought “what do you think will happen tomorrow? And are you ready to deal with more new realities?”. Will there be more lockdowns in the coming months? Could the stock market crash and create the next global financial crisis? Or could the coronavirus mutate into a much deadlier form and induce even more social restrictions and surveillance? Many uncertainties which potentially lay in front of us and have the ability to change how we continue to study, work, travel, and live. We need to start embracing change as the new normal and accept that disruption is happening at every cornerstone of our society.
What the pandemic has taught us so far is that building mental, emotional, and physical resilience is something best done together. As we prepare for the future, let’s go back to what makes us fundamentally human, our need for connection, and let’s start harnessing the power of the collective to be better prepared for tomorrow.
About the author
Ali Fenwick is Professor of Organizational Behavior & Innovation at Hult International Business School in Dubai and London, and a behavioral expert at Nyenrode Business University in The Netherlands.
Ali’s research focuses on the behavioral foundations of organizations and management and explores how psychological interventions can be applied within the (digital) workplace to increase employee well-being and organizational performance. Ali is also an expert in human behavior and helps others to understand the psychological drivers underpinning modern-day life such as the current spread of, and response to, the coronavirus.
Ali is also the Founder and Chief Scientific Officer of LEAD TCM&L™- The Center for Applied Behavioral Science and Technology. The center helps corporations and government institutions apply nudging and other behavioral interventions through technology to solve business or social related issues. Ali is a Harvard Business Review Contributor, TEDx and Keynote Speaker, Behavioral Expert on TV, Conference Chair, Author, and Strategic Board Advisor.
